Two Month Gotcha Anniversary & Final Post

Two months ago today we drove from The Central Hotel in Nanjing to the Civil Affairs office. We waited while two families with kids from other orphanages met their children. We did a little paperwork and waited some more. Just writing this gives me knots in my stomach and tears come to my eyes. Two families watched out a big window hoping for a glimpse of Ming-Jie and Ming-Wa and suddenly there they were making their way along the parking lot in the arms of their nanny and the orphanage director.

Without the video mom took, I wouldn't be able to tell you who was carrying Jie-Jie. For me, it's like he floated into that building and into that room on a cloud of mist. I saw only him. His clothes, his hair, his expression. Was he scared? Would he cry? Would he come to us? Would he welcome or reject us at this first meeting. Ming-Jie. Who was he? What was he like? Was he wild and undisciplined? Was he aggressive and hyper? Did we dare hope for a well adjusted, happy child. Ming-Jie. Finally, in the flesh, as if he magically stepped out of the pictures we had been studying over the five months we had waited for him. Was he real?

And he accepted us! And we began to fall in love with our bright, joyous, affectionate, caring, little Jie-Jie. Our ideas of who he might be vanished as we learned who he was. He fell into absolute and complete love with his Baba during those first few hours. Watching him, reaching for him, playing with him. Building a bond of trust that has only grown over the past 2 months.

And now Jie-Jie is all ours. He is our son. Not because some papers say so, but because he trusts and loves us and we trust and love him. He has become Eva's brother. Last night as she kissed him good night she told him, 'I love you.' She looks for him when he's in a different room, she talks and laughs and jumps off the stairs with him. We have neatly folded into Jie-Jie's world and he has neatly folded into our lives. There are so many people who helped bring Jie-Jie into our family. We want to thank Colette, our tenacious, ever positive sponsor who worked so hard to get Jie-Jie home. We want to thank our agency and especially Mireille who didn't give up when things looked bad. We want to thank Jennifer and her parents for giving me transport and shelter during that stormy week we left for China. Thanks to Juliette our patient, resourceful guide who got us out of Nanjing as the storms of the century moved in. Finally, we want to thank my mom for shlepping our stuff around China, for being a good sport and, in the process, for becoming Jie-Jie's one and only 'LAO-LAO'.

And for our darling Jie-Jie.... if one day, when you read the pages of this journal, you feel even 10% of the love and joy we've felt over these past two months, keeping it will have been truly worthwhile.

With Eva we became parents. With Jie-Jie we become a family.

More Toys, Glasses & Patches, Oh My

O.K., here's what I found them playing with over the past few days. The hats are from Grandma (Lao-Lao). The basket is from the laundry room. The 'Lucky Rabbits' Feet' (around Jie-Jie's writst) and the 'Sugar Packet' (in Eva's hand and in her mouth) are from the cupboard under the sink in the ensuite in our bedroom. Yep. Those toys don't leave the house no matter how hard the kids scream to take them with them. So, I ask, why bother to buy them toys when they seem to prefer to play with 'things' they find around the house.

As the picture below demonstrates, we have resorted to nerdish techniques to get Jie-Jie's glasses to sit in the right place when he has his eye patch on. He was constantly looking over the top of the lenses rather then through them. It might look funny, but it works and he doesn't mind one bit. What a kid!

He has added a ton of new phrases to both his English and French vocabulary this week. We're just completely amazed at how fast he's learning. Yesterday he handed me his cup and said, 'Open this please Mama'. It was as clear as day.

Toys?

Happy St-Patrick's Day to you all.

You can't pinch my kiddies, they have their green.

The other day Jean-Pierre and I were saying that we really should buy some toys for our kiddies. Since I really didn't know what to get them, I starting paying particular attention to what they played with during the day. Here's what I found:

They play with card board boxes and screwdrivers; my sister's Guitar Heros guitar; the coffee table and plastic bags full of stuff from around the house (old cupboard door handles, pudding boxes, plasitc cookie cutters, old boxes); cars attached to strings and watch TV (Broccoli, Dora, Kai-Lan, Thomas the Train, Backyardigans). Oh yeah, they also LOVE to jump off the stairs. Eva jumps from the fourth step now and Jie-Jie is up to the second step!

Jie-Jie's words

Here are the utterances that Jie-Jie is using on a consistent basis these days:

Mandarin Words

• tang - hot - he pronounces it as 'kong'
• tiwa - telephone - he pronounces it as 'chiwa'
• xie-xie - thank-you
• chichow - truck - I totally don't know the correct pronouncation or spelling for this
• chocola - open - don't know correct Mandarin pronouncation or spelling
• yue - fish
• ma - horse
• aya - negation (e.g.'aya mama' - 'no mama' - usually uses this when I ask if I should put him to bed)
• Baba - daddy
• Mei-Mei - little sister
• Mama - Mommy
• de - possessive marker
• Jie-Jie
• Lao-Lao - maternal grandma
• Gong-Gong - maternal grandfather
• niu-nia - milk
• ni hao - hello
• hao shi ma/ya - does that taste good?
• hao shi yo/da - it tastes good
• gugugai - the sound a chicken makes. Uses this for eggs, chickens & Baba's nose (guessing he's thinking of a chicken's beak....)
• bu-yao - pronunced 'boo-yao' - I don't want - He combines that one a lot with Mei-Mei ('Bu-yao Mei-Mei) - I don't want you to do/take/touch/look at.....Mei-Mei.
  

English Words

• train
• booootza - boots
• shooza - shoes
• sooooupa - soup
• spoona - spoon
• sleepa - sleep (a song says, 'and sleep and sleep'. he hears 'nd sleepa nd' sleepa)
• buza - bus
• go Jie-Jie
• patch
• bye-bye
• jooza - juice
• apple
• mine
• this
• look at this
• whatz that

French Words

• pee-pee
• ka-ka - he says a cross between 'ta-ta' and 'da-da'
• dodo - sleep
• fait dodo - go to sleep
• manger - you, we, I eat - we tell him, 'on va manger' (we're going to eat) and he yells, 'manger!'
• du lait - some milk, but he thinks it's one word
• non
• bo-bo - owie
• camion - truck
• Papa
• chocolat - chocolate
• Allo - hello
• cereal
• banane
• yogourt
• fini - finished/all done
• ballon - balloons and flags
• ou est-tu? - where are you. While techniqually a phase, he seems to see it as one word.
• bin-bin (a family inveted word for 'cracker')
• Broccoli - in reference to a woman who sings children's songs
• yoga - he says 'Yoda' - this cracks me up every time he sings it cause...well... I kind of think that Jie-Jie looks a little like....well.... Yoda.

It's truly amazing the range of things he can express with these 58 vocabulary items individually and when he combines them into two and three word utterances.

May the Force Be with You!

Transitions

Transition #1:

Well, here he is with his new glasses. Jie-Jie had his glasses for less then 15 minutes when this picture was taken. He walked into the house, Baba gave him some chocolate chips (as you can see in his teeth) and took his picture. I think he looks a little older and a little Tweety-Birdish (in a very cute way) with his specs. He left them on all day long and he didn't touch or fuss with them at all. We have adjusted them so that he actually looks out the lenses rather then looking over them.

Transition #2:

Jie-Jie came to Mom's Morning Out with Eva and I today. Eva held his hand and made sure he knew where to go. I was proud of the way she looked out for him. He spent the majority of the session time in the room with the other kiddies, only coming to see me near the last 15 minutes of the group. Bravo little man.

Transition #3:

Jie-Jie is now sleeping in his own room. We transitioned him for his nap on Sunday and then asked him where he wanted to spend the night that night (beside our bed or in his own room). He chose his own room and has been sleeping there ever since. For naps we just put him in his room, give him a kiss and he goes to sleep. At night, he still asks for Jean-Pierre to stay with him until he falls asleep (Yes, Jean-Pierre has fallen asleep too, but the idea is that he stays until Jie-Jie falls asleep). Jie-Jie is very definate that he wants Baba in his room. Tonight at supper we told him that Mama would help Jie-Jie 'faire dodo' tonight. Jie-Jie said, 'No, Mama fait dodo.' Jean-Pierre asked him who he wanted to help him sleep tonight and he said straight away, 'Baba fait dodo Jie-Jie. No Mama fait dodo'. You're breaking my heart kid. Mama writes on the blog while Baba fait dodo avec Jie-Jie!

So, all this means that Jie-Jie's initial transition into this next part of his life is pretty much complete. He has flown through everything will little to no effort and continues to be a happy, funny little guy. May he face all future life challenges with the same grace, humour and confidence he has shown over the past month.

Going Out With Two Part Two

The kiddies and I don't only go out to the grocery store together. We also spend time hanging around outside. While being outside prevents boredom induced fighting, it comes with it's own share of troubles. Take today for example.

Since the snow is melting like gangbusters these days, we dress the kiddes up in the most waterproof gear they have. The rubber boots from a previous post come out again (each actually wearing the matching pair this time without a single comment) and out we go. Eva grabs her 'doll' stroller (has never had a single doll in it). The toy has now become basically a pink stroller frame since the material which once formed the seat disappeared long, long ago. She thows her orange rubber ball into it because that's the only thing that doesn't fall though the holes of the frame, and off she heads down the driveway. Jie-Jie in the meantime has mounted his intrepid mint green and pink, plastic car and is heading out with her.

A large iceberg is jamming water and creating a huge puddle at the end of our driveway. This backlog is indeed the destination of our little ones. Eva wades in right away, pushing her stroller frame with it's grotesque, orange, rubber baby in front of her. Jie-Jie, who is much better trained then Eva, stops before the puddle making whining type wondering sounds. I tell him to get off his car and push it by it's large handle through the puddle. He can't believe his luck and tentatively takes a step into this new wonderland. They walk back and forth through the puddle for a while as I vainly try to break up enough of the iceberg to get the water flowing away from our drvieway. I finally give up and decided to go get the mail around the corner at the end of the street.

How does one get two almost-three-year-olds away from a watery wonderland? One promises the possiblity of discovering even bigger puddles if we go for a walk. This works everytime (so far) and away we go. Of course we do not all go at the same speed. Now I have to decide...do I stay at the back behind the slowest kiddie (Jie-Jie in this case); do I rush to the front to be sure that the first kiddie is safe (in this case Eva) or do I stay in the middle where I can see each child, but will have to run like hell to be of timely help to either of them? I chose the running like hell option. I get lucky. Eva, who has gone ahead, waits paitently for us at the mailbox. Why you may ask.....come on, there's a puddle in front of it. Jie-Jie finally makes his way to us, I get the mail and we continue on to the paved trail that runs behind our house.

The trail entrance makes an honest woman of me. Yes, there is an absolutely, startlingly huge puddle for them to walk through. Jie-Jie just pushes his car through it and continues on, but Eva needs to make several passes before she can be convinced to move along. By this time her brother is quite a way down the trail. We catch up and Mama remembers a wonderful game she used to play with Eva called 'The Car Ride'. I sit Jie-Jie on the little car and he races down the little slope of the trail. As he's about half way along - and picking up speed - I wonder if this is really a good idea. As he rushing toward the snowbank at the end of the course - and not slowing down even a bit - I start thinking that I may have made a little mistake. He comes to a full stop absolutely laughing his head off and I decide 'The Car Ride' is terrific and we decide to do it again.

Jie-Jie does it a couple of more times before Mei-Mei decides that it's her turn. She however doesn't want to give up the car once she gets to the bottom. There is some crying (no, not me). First Jie-Jie when he realizes his given up his car to someone who is just learning how to share and then Eva as Mama helps her do the right thing. As she sits crying in the sandy spring run off of water, Jie-Jie goes for another ride down the hill.

Mei-Mei gets over her sadness and we head back home, but we couldn't possibly stay on the paved trail. No, no, we must take the two snow trails that lead to our backyard. This route involves Mama taking one child's 'equipment' through the snow trail, over the gravel (well more like mud) road and leaving the piece of said equipment on the next snow trail in order to head back and get the child to whom the above equipment belongs. Repeat with child number two who has in fact been yelling, 'Mama, Mama' during the whole of the previous manoeuvre. Now Mama takes both pieces of equipment up to our back patio and then returns for each child (separately of course - trail's not big enough for two kiddies and a Mama). Repeat the Mama incantation throughout the entire episode this time since I now have a child at each end waiting for me. Jie-Jie is calling me as he rides his little car towards the edge of the patio, about to fall head first from it into a couple of feet of snow. Eva is calling me as she sits in the snow at the end of the trail waiting for me to come and pick her up (she couldn't possibly get up on her own-what a kid).

Anyway, we finally make it back to the front driveway and the kids spend another hour playing in the huge puddle at the end of it. Ah (sigh), going out with two. Who'd have thunk it could be so terribly entertaining.

Quickie

Don't have much time, but wanted to post.
We had such a fantastic time with Jean-Pierre's sister and her family over the past week. Jie-Jie fell in love with his mon oncle Denis during this visit, but I don't have a single picture of them together. Eva deepened her love for her cousin Sophie.
Ahh, I hated to see them go and so did the kids. I can't really say how Jean-Pierre feels about it. He's sick in bed today. Poor baby, company sure wears him out.